we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
