I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
