He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
