You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
