Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
