The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
