she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
