I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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