Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
