Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
