Swine flu. Run for my life!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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