I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
