New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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