You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
