Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
