his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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