Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
