Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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