But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
