I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize