letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
