So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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