I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
