Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
