She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize