i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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