I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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