I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
