as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was like eating out sand paper
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
