I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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