Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry about my life...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
So. Much. Porn.
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