Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
