so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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