id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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