VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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