Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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