so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
