Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
