So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
high people should be assigned attendants
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
