So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
