lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just gargled with NyQuil
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
