Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
