WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
