I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
