We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
