she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
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Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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