It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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