bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
