omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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