my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
