Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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