But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
