yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
