smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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