A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
