Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
