im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude i'm inner monologue high
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
