Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
