You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize
