Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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