I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
