remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
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I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize