His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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