She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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