So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
