**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
should my penis look like a turkey
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
